"Kill Them with Kindness", August 10, 2025

 

Kill Them with Kindness
Rev. Jamie Green Klopotoski
Luke 6:27-36
August 10, 2025
First Baptist Church Gloucester

 

I just got back from a three-day, two-night tour with the Gloucester Student Band. 33 student musicians in grades 4-12 and 17 adults just barely packed into a carpool bright and early Tuesday morning and headed off to the Worcester Area for 4 performances. I have been planning this trip for months. But something I have learned from doing trips like these over the years is that no matter how much planning you do, inevitably something will come up and plans will have to change. Usually, it’s like one or two unforeseen circumstances that make you have to pivot. But I felt like on this trip, all I did was pivot!

A few examples:

We were supposed to play at an outdoor venue called the Pappas Recreation Complex in Auburn on Tuesday night at 6pm. All summer, they also host free outdoor concerts on Thursday nights. Well last Thursday it rained, and the rain date for the Thursday concert… was Tuesday. The band that was booked was completely inflexible and unwilling to work with us, so the best we could do was play at 4pm instead of 6pm. But that meant our 3pm concert at the Overlook Retirement Community would have to be pushed back as well. They were able to squeeze us in, though sadly not in their gorgeous auditorium as originally planned but instead in their dining hall, at 11am, but that meant we would have to leave Gloucester an hour earlier than originally planned. Because all the time changes were so last minute, both of our Tuesday concerts had very small audiences. Also, the sound guys setting up for the 6pm concert in Auburn were upset with us for being there at 4pm and were honestly kind of mean. But my students took the high road, handled it all beautifully, with no complaining, and they played their absolute best. We all focused on being kind. Saying please and thank you and being super polite and respectful, even if others around us were not.

We were also booked to play the National Anthem at Thursday’s WooSox game. The original plan was to meet in their third-floor board room to put together our instruments, leave our cases, and warm up a little. But that room ended up getting booked last minute for another group, so they had to squeeze us into this other space… a very small conference room in the middle of a sea of cubicles full of people trying to get their work done. The kids had to be super quiet, not talk or play their instruments, and we had no place to warm up or practice. Again, we focused on being polite and respectful, saying excuse me, and sorry, and thank you. When we finally got on to the baseball field, the band played the National Anthem without having played anything that day, and it was the best they have ever sounded. It all worked out. Even with all the twists and turns and hiccups and last-minute pivots, our 2^nd annual GSB summer tour was a huge success.

And I really think that kindness was the key to our success. It would have been really easy for me to get angry and yell at the mean people in Auburn, or get upset about the room change at the WooSox game. But that wouldn’t have gotten us anywhere. In fact, it would have make matters worse. Kindness helped us pivot and go with the flow. It really makes a huge difference to walk around in our world with a smile on your face, kind thoughts on your heart, and kind words from your mouth. Even in the midst of the most difficult situations with the most difficult people, kindness is key.

It reminds me of the proverb: "Kill them with kindness." Instead of using aggression, violence, or negativity to defeat your enemies, you should use kindness, compassion, and empathy to overcome them. Kindness can be a powerful tool to neutralize conflicts and overcome adversaries. Tenderness can motivate people to do things that toughness never can.

The phrase “kill them with kindness” dates back to 1590 from William Shakespeare's “The Taming of the Shrew” but the sentiment has been around since at least the time of Jesus. Truly great leaders like Jesus, Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, do not drive people with the crack of a whip. They lead people with the warmth of a kind word.

In 1957 at the Dexter Avenue Baptist Church, the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr preached a sermon called "Loving Your Enemies” with exactly this theme. Here is some of what he had to say:

“” Jesus says, “Love your enemy.” It’s significant that he does not say, “Like your enemy.” There are a lot of people that I find difficult to like. I don’t like what they do to me. I don’t like what they say about me and other people. I don’t like their attitudes. I don’t like some of the things they’re doing. I don’t like them. But Jesus says love them. And love is greater than like. You love everybody, because God loves them.

Hate for hate only intensifies the existence of hate and evil in the universe. If I hit you and you hit me and I hit you back and you hit me back and so on, it just never ends. Somewhere somebody must have a little sense, and that’s the strong person. The strong person is the person who can cut off the chain of hate and inject within the very structure of the universe that strong and powerful element of love.

Sometime ago my brother and I were driving one evening from Atlanta to Chattanooga. He was driving the car. And for some reason the drivers were very discourteous that night. Hardly any driver that passed by dimmed his lights. And I remember very vividly, my brother looked over and in a tone of anger said: “The next car that comes along here and refuses to dim the lights, I’m going to fail to dim mine and pour them on in all of their power.” I looked at him right quick and said: “Oh no, don’t do that. There’d be too much light on this highway, and it will end up in mutual destruction for all. Somebody’s got to have some sense on this highway.”

Somebody must have sense enough to dim the lights, and that’s the trouble, isn’t it? As all of the civilizations of the world move up the highway of history, looking at other civilizations that refused to dim the lights, they also decide to refuse to dim theirs. And if somebody doesn’t have sense enough to turn on the dim and beautiful and powerful lights of love in this world, the whole of our civilization will be plunged into the abyss of destruction. We will all end up destroyed because nobody had any sense on the highway of history. Somewhere somebody must have some sense. We must see that force begets force, hate begets hate, toughness begets toughness. It is all a descending spiral, ultimately ending in destruction for everybody. Somebody must have sense enough and morality enough to cut off the chain of hate.

There is something about hate that tears down and is destructive. But there’s something about love that builds up and is creative. If you hate your enemies, you have no way to redeem or transform them. But if you love your enemies, you will discover that at the very root of love is the power of redemption. You just keep loving people and keep loving them, even though they’re mistreating you. Even if a person is doing something wrong to you. Just keep being friendly. Keep loving them. By the power of your love, they will break down under the load.

I’m foolish enough to believe that through the power of love, people of the most recalcitrant bent will be transformed. We will be able to make humanity better. We will be able to make of this old world a new world. And then we will be in God’s kingdom. We must discover the redemptive power of love, and have the power to love our enemies, to bless those who curse us, to be good to those who hate us, and to pray for those who despitefully use us. Love is the only way. “” Amen Dr. King!

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With the Gloucester Student Band, I teach music. But I also teach kindness. Even when people are mean to us. Even when things go the wrong way. Even when people make mistakes. Even when we don’t like someone. Kindness is the way.

Sometimes it feels like we live in a mean world. People are harsh, quarrelsome, impatient, shrill, nasty. It’s only human to respond in kind. But Christ requires something different: respond in kindness.

Our enemies might never love us back, they might never show us an ounce of kindness, yet we are called to love them, with no strings attached, with no response expected. We do it because it is the right thing to do. We do it with the faith and hope that our love will make a difference

Dr. King gives some good in advice in his sermon about how to love your enemies.

He says, the truth is that “within the best of us, there is some evil, and within the worst of us, there is some good. When we come to see this, we take a different attitude toward individuals. The person who hates you most has some good in him. Discover the element of good in your enemy. Every time you begin to hate that person, realize that there is some good there. Find the center of goodness and place your attention there and you will take a new attitude. No matter what he does, see the image of God within him, and love him.”

I wish that I had harbored more feelings love toward those guys in Auburn who were mean to us. I didn’t lash out or yell, and I made sure no one else did either, but I definitely was angry and thought some very mean thoughts. It is not easy to share God’s love with mean people. But it is the right thing to do, and it is the only thing that will change the world. When we open the doors of love to even THOSE people, we begin to comprehend how deep and how wide the love of Jesus truly is. I will try harder next time, and I hope you will too.

 

May God give us the strength, courage, and patience to love our enemies, to bless those who curse us, to be good to those who hate us, to show kindness to those who are mean to us. Love is the only way.

Amen.